Eating my nail paint; the palpitated shiner getting off, sipping low quality dip tea in those “fresh & honest” paper cups still enjoying every bit of it watching people at ground level parking leaving for home. Still got 2 hours to complete my 9 hours shift!
What the hell am I doing?
So this usually happens to people who feel they do not belong to the field they are currently working for and are fighting the ‘everyday battle’ in their head trying to figure out what they are meant to do?
Whenever I go ‘too’ deep into reading the blogs of other writers, trying to find my way out and then coming back to point zero; this feeling creeps in; definitely IT is not for me but I am trying to find my league…Still way to go.
I stumbled upon blog http://hippie-inheels.com/, beautifully pen down by an American writer who left her career in nursing to live on the beaches of Goa: Rachel Jones.
She has been to number of places in India, travelled across mountains, crossed deserts, lived in cities and many more. What really stupefied me was the vision she is carrying for travelling despite of all the difficulties she faced. Of course there are many good reasons also.
Whatever I read on her blog was too much to take that I felt like taking a break and ponder upon the stuff I took from her blog.
“Chai ki chuski’ isliye because it’s when you sit alone at your office balcony, watching the crimson color sky turning bluish black as the night creeps in, lights moving in distant, hording of various brands, Emirates, Boots lighting up in flashy colors and you are lost in your thought of … ‘what next?’. ‘Where am I heading with all the work I am doing?’. ’How will I get the insight of what I want to do and how to do?’. Imagine yourself as a cartoon gravatar with all the question bubbles popping out of your head which is now swollen because of intense thinking!!
Sitting alone and staring at the ether would certainly give idea of ‘subject’ being suffering from depression! (only deep thinker will think you are having a quality time) so that’s when a cup of tea comes into play…’oh Hi techie bastard… I am just enjoying my cup of tea … alone’ but then you actually enjoy the ‘chai ki chuski’ as you sip the tea and it’s warmth somehow comforts your mind.
No matter you find your answers or not …(it’s a gradual process for some) but definitely try to figure out at least. Perhaps you are meant to do something else, something far bigger and better.
‘Ek chai ki chuski’ aur ek khayal … sirf khud k liye J
‘one sip of tea and one thought … just for yourself’ J